Degraded Sissy

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Degraded SissyThis will be a familiar scene to many a sissy and transvestite – home alone, dressed up in stockings, high heels, panties and bra……probably belonging to your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, painted with makeup and nail polish……masturbating away as you wallow in a deluge of girlie sensations – the soft friction of you sheer stockinged legs brush aghast each other and pretty panties around you waist, the tight embrace of a woman’s around your flat chest……immersed in girlie thoughts and girlie emotions.But all the while, there is this fear in the background – a fear of being caught in her stockings and underwear. So whilst you indulge yourself in girlie ecstasy and effeminacy, there is this common discomforting interface with the real world sarıyer escort as you repeatedly peek through the blinds, or from behind the curtains lest she arrive home earlier than expected. The guilt builds up and conflates with an intense shame.“Boys and men don’t dress up in stockings and women’s underwear and masturbate.” “Why does feeling all girlie and effeminate feel so good?”“I must be some kind of depraved pervert, a queer, a fag”. “What would she say, and do, if she caught you?”You start to develop dark imagery of being caught, exposed and humiliated. They fill you with intense fear but, through constant association with the sensual and emotional girlie pleasures you’re immersed in, and the esenyurt escort erotic ecstasy of pleasuring yourself and slowly bring yourself to climax, they conflate into a kind of dark fantasy which arouses you. After you’ve climaxed, with the erotic arousal spent, you suddenly see yourself not as the girl you’d created for yourself in your own mind, but as kind of warped deviant dressed in women’s clothes. You feel disgusted with yourself. The shame and guilt are still there, but without the erotic rush. You discard the stockings, high heels and underwear as quickly as you can. They no longer excite you. You do you best to put them back as you found them, hoping she won’t notice. As you wipe away your makeup and nail polish, avrupa yakası escort taking extreme care to remove all traces, you tell yourself you’ll never do this again. But you will.In less than a few hours you’ll be looking at her, in stockings, heels, underwear, that you’ve probably worn before – or are fantasizing about wearing. You reassure yourself that your “normal male, heterosexual attraction” to her, or other women you fantasize about, has returned. But it hasn’t. You’re not lusting for her. Your not lusting after a woman in your mind. Your lusting to be her, or the woman of your fantasies, dressed in those very clothes. At the very next opportunity, you’ll be there, at it again, from behind the curtains or blinds, dressed in stockings, lingerie and high heels, playing with yourself. It never goes away. It gets stronger. There’s no way out. The challenge – over time – is to find your own way to accept yourself, to coexist with this irresistible urge and need, to accept yourself, and maybe, try to cultivate some kind of relationship between you – the *real* you – and the outside world.

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Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32

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